Friday, September 9, 2011

Horse Mouth


(More from what's inside Laura's head)

I love love love to have my feet rubbed. Hubs knows this...the kids know this....the dog probably knows this....and I try to contain my enjoyment when I actually get a pedicure. (which is going on about 7+ months now)

After the kids go to bed hubs and I will be on the couch and I'll slowly...ever so slowly inch my legs his direction....then ever so slowly put one of my feet on his hip...then slowly make it to his lap.

He has 2 options at this point....A. He can rub B. He can ignore the tired, beaten down, sad looking feet of the mother of his children. He usually goes for option A. He will say, "In a minute." After a minute I will start to wiggle my foot on his lap....which reminds him...."Hey sir, please remember me"

The problem is...sometimes he doesn't rub the right spot...or rubs the same spot over and over ...or rubs too hard.

This is where I have some options.....A. I can tell him how I like it so it feels better....or B. Sit and bear it....I mean after all I am getting a free foot rub (unless it's the kids then I don't hold back)

I usually go for option B....I sit quietly and just be happy I'm getting a rub....until last night.

I thought to myself (which is never a good thing)

"You know if he would just rub up and over a few inches this would be heaven. Should I say something? Yes, Yes, I should definitely say something....No, wait....I mean after all he's being sweet by rubbing in the first place....try to wiggle your foot over and he'll get a better grip and then it will be in the spot. Ok, that didn't work.....Ok just sweetly say "hey honey will you rub in circles just a bit over from where your hand is" and maybe you won't get the ol "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" answer....I mean after all someone is doing you a nice favor...LIKE EVERY SINGLE NIGHT...BUT I go for it....

"Hey honey, that feels great, but will you rub in little circles just a few inches up from where your hand is"

He actually does and doesn't even give me 'the look' ....

only's the wrong spot.

So option A. grin and bear it and say thanks...or B. give more direction

I'm on a roll....I mean the first football game of the season is on...he's distracted so I go with B

"Hey honey....just a little more up"

His response...."Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"

Next time I'm sticking with the first option of KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.


Anonymous said...

Ha Ha Ha!!! Laura, I love this post!!

I could never get my lovey to rub my feet, or my back... and hell, when he does, he automatically assumes that it's a free ticket into my pants. LOL.

If you can sucker your hubs to rub your feet, than by all means woman, go for it!! Any attention is good attention--even if he doesnt do it just right!

Anna said...

Hilarious!! I know what you mean... occasionally I have my sweet husband rub my shoulders but if he keeps rubbing the same spot over and over I want to go insane so I usually just say thank you and move on :)

mountain mama said...

ha, that's funny...i know what you mean. i usually go for the, "that feels really good...what about this spot here?" :D

love the horse pic.

Lori said...

LOL. I am not a foot massage person... Or a massage person, period. But this post was justbhilarious!

Dianna said...

I love this! My husband hates massages and therefore never wants to give me one. Just because he doesn't like them doesn't mean everyone else doesn't either. Oh well I just got for occasional pedicures.

Amber said...

HAHA! Poor girl. I'm the same way.. I never keep my mouth shut when I should ;)

Kerbi said...

I love this post! I can't stand to have my feet rubbed...I am way too ticklish! However I do love a good pedi. I prefer a back massage, and I always give him instructions...I mean my shoulders need the most stress relief! I need to come to Dallas soon so we can have a girls day!

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