Sunday, March 10, 2013

70 Ways You Know You're A Mom

(this list is not my own...I copied from a list of 100 from a blogger over at Lisa-Jo Baker) 
funny how this list can be for millions of mommies everywhere! 

70 Ways You Know You’re a Mom
  1. You are pretty much embarrassment-proof.
  2. A trip to the grocery store alone is your idea of a spontaneous getaway.
  3. You buy enough milk on a weekly basis to sponsor an entire dairy farm.
  4. When you put on make up the kids get excited that you’re all going out.
  5. If you don’t change the toilet paper roll, it doesn’t get changed.
  6. You can’t remember what the words “personal space” mean.
  7. You use photo shop for removing boogers more than for removing blemishes.
  8. You wash the same load of laundry at least twice before you remember to empty it.
  9. You can’t remember a time when you didn’t drive a minivan/suburban.
  10. Lugging the baby carrier is your idea of a workout.
  11. You listen to your kids’ favorite tunes even when you’re driving by yourself
  12. You can’t remember the last time you ate a meal while it was still hot.
  13. You wish there was drive through everything.

  14. You can do 18 things all at the same time.
  15. You consider going to the bathroom by yourself the height of luxury.
  16. You can change a diaper in the pitch dark.
  17. You know how badly stepping on a piece of Lego can hurt.
  18. You have an entire Pinterest board full of crafts you will never get around to actually doing.
  19. You forget the names of your children.
  20. You think wrestling alligators would be easier than getting kids in bed on time.
  21. Your kids ask you what the iron is for.
  22. You spend more on carpet cleaning products than make up.
  23. You actually own a product called KIDS N PETS Stain & Odor Remover.
  24. Your husband tells you it isn’t worth buying anything nice until the kids move out to college.
  25. You cry with happiness when one of your children consents to eating broccoli.
  26. You tell yourself pizza has all the food groups.
  27. You haven’t slept in a decade.
  28. You have clothes in every size under the sun
  29. You obsess over whether or not you remembered to sign that permission slip.

  30. Coffee is one of your love languages.
  31. There is often an extra tiny person sleeping in your bed.

     
  32. You will never ever be able to sort, process or print all the photos you take.
  33. You would rather have someone help you with the laundry than anything else in the world.
  34. You know the names and super powers of every, single Marvel character ever created.
  35. You loathe happy meal toys.
  36. Your kisses have magical, healing properties.

  37. You wish they had GPS for kids.
  38. You aren’t afraid of anything.
  39. You’re afraid of everything.
  40. You have sung the same song a trillion times.
  41. You have several story books memorized.
  42. You cook as much with the play kitchen as the real one.
  43. The curl at the nape of your baby’s neck can leave you undone.
  44. Your Instagram stream reads like a love letter to your children.

  45. Your “desk” is surrounded by a constant stream of my little ponies, Darth Vadar and candy wrappers.
  46. Your idea of luxury is when someone else unloads the dishwasher.
  47. You daydream about a land where women go to the bathroom alone and don’t have to narrate what they’re doing in there.
  48. You have made s’more on a campfire and on the kitchen stove.
  49. You’ve convinced your kids that vacuuming is a “game.”
  50. Some days watching them is like seeing your heart do somersaults in front of your very eyes.
  51. Super glue is your best friend.

  52. Cereal is a breakfast, lunch, and dinner kind of food at your house.
  53. About the last thing sofas are for is sitting on.
  54. Your computer keyboard has permanent marker scribbled on it.
  55. You loathe having to match socks.
  56. Some days you’re tempted to take off running after the ice cream truck.
  57. Cutting a tiny person’s finger nails terrifies you.
  58. You worry that Flintstones vitamins are the only thing standing between your kids and scurvy
  59. You carry spare lollipops in your purse.
  60. By “purse” you actually mean “diaper bag.”
  61. Your kids use your smart phone more than you do.
  62. You know the precise shape sandwiches should be cut up into.
  63. You and your daughter cry, laugh and bond over popcorn and Anne of Green Gables.
  64. You think you can cut hair.
  65. You discover you can’t actually cut hair.
  66. You do more multitasking in an average day than any CEO.
  67. You’ve clocked hundreds of miles of carpooling.
  68. Your body is soft in all the right places and perfect for comforting and cuddling
  69. You pray. About everything. Because you’ve learned you can hardly control anythin
  70. Your job description could fill an entire book.

3 comments:

Kenzie Smith said...

This list is too funny, and too true!! Thanks for sharing!

Kimberly Graesser said...

"You know the names and super powers of every, single Marvel character ever created."

YES! Of course I knew that before having kids but it's fun to teach it to Peter and him be excited about it :P

Expat Girl said...

I went on a walk today and the song stuck in my head was the theme tune to Sofia The First Ahhhhh!!!

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