Monday, April 15, 2013

Chaps My Hide..Why Be a Parent....

Sorry I get angry when I read the ABOUT ME...section on interviews with Celebs

I will be in love with a tv person or chef...then I read an interview with them and BOOM...I'm no longer a fan

I mean I guess I shouldn't really care...because it's not my life...it's theirs!  But when they put their words out there for all to read like it's nothing....it bugs me

Ok let me explain...

I was reading about article in a magazine.........

There is this actress Lauren somethingorother  She is on 2 shows I don't watch...Gilmore Girls and Parenthood  (the mom from Gilmore Girls)

Anywho....the article was asking about her childhood and present day etc...she said how she was raised by her father...her mother left for London when she was little to pursue her singing career

STOP THE PRESSES

Ok her mom left her daughter to go to another country to try to be a singer?  

This is where I get hot under the collar.

The day you choose to become a parent you take on a responsibility.  Whether you choose that for 18 yrs or for the rest of your life....choices are now made and sacrifices too

I can't stand hearing Moms say "I don't know who I am anymore..."  or "I am my own person"  or  "I need to do (fill in the blank) so I don't lose myself?"

What are you talking about?  You are still you....just a bit better (know what I mean?)
You are still (insert name)...You just now have a responsibility along with you

I'm sorry you DIDN'T GET TO BE AN OPERA SINGER.  I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET TO GO AFRICA AND SAVE LIONS.  I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET TO BE A CEO OF A FASHION MAGAZINE.   I'M SORRY YOU DON'T GET TO TRAVEL THE WORLD...

I'm sorry that your sweet child now has to suffer and listen to your beat downs of how you can't do what you want anymore....

What I think bothered me even more about this article was  Lauren said about her mom  "Her impulse was to follow her dream, and it was an inspiration to me"

WHAT?

Impulse to follow her dream at the expense of her daughter?  She left the country and a little girl behind ...that longer had her mommy to kiss boo boo's or have sleepovers....or teach her to bake muffins....or braid her hair...or teach her about first crushes or paint nails together or or or  or the list could go on.....

Don't tell me Lauren didn't cry at times missing her mommy more than anything in the world.  Don't tell me that little Lauren didn't wonder why here mommy wasn't there.  

Tell it like it was Lauren....Tell people what growing up with a selfish mommy was really like.

She's just trying to  justify it in my mind about her mommy not being there.

My whole thing is ......

You want to leave your family to pursue your dreams then don't be a mommy or wife in the first place....(this is to the men too)

It's one thing to be a nurse or writer during the day and still come home to your family...The ones that have careers and yet are still there to see their babies grow and have a part of that.....

It's the ones that leave all together to BE THEIR OWN PERSON.

You are a person...you are still the same person you were the day before they were born....but in my opinion  you are a better version of yourself.  You have the most important job in the world now and some take it for granted.....

Another Celeb wrote just the opposite about her mom in an article...

Giada (who I truly loved watching cook)  told about her decision to not marry or have a family...(granted those plans changed obviously)  She said that her mother gave up her dream of being an actress to raise her 4 kids.  And she was told this pretty much daily basis while growing up.  Her mother instilled in them to not let anyone or anything hold them down....to be something because she couldn't.

It hurt my heart to read those words....

Here read a bit more of the interview about when asked about having kids and her work...

RB You had your daughter at 37. Was that part of an overall plan? GDL Todd and I talked about kids and decided we were okay not having them. But then Jade came along, and I was very afraid, and so was Todd. What would happen to this life we had created, where we'd just take off for Santa Barbara for the weekend? But we agreed to take it a day at a time. And I've continued my life exactly as it was. Jade knows her mother works and travels, and she travels with me.
RB What about when you have to travel for work without her? Is that hard? GDL Jade gets very attached to her nanny and Todd when I go away, and that can hurt. She's at the age where she'll say to me, "Go away, Mommy, I don't want you." Is it painful? Yes, very painful. But I tell myself she's making me pay for not being home and for missing moments that were important to her. I also try to remember that I should be thankful that she has people around who love her, and who she loves so much.

Again another mother that doesn't seem to attached to her child...."she's making me pay for missing moments important to her"  WELL THEN TAKE A BREAK FROM YOUR WORK AND LET HER BE ATTACHED TO YOU AND NOT THE NANNY

Ok sorry....I just love being a wife and mother so much.

I was told one time that I was hurting my kids by staying home with them...that they would benefit by me working like her kids do.

I wanted to say "Honestly lady....You probably are the worst mother in the world so yes your kids welcome when you walk out the door"

Kids remember...Kids have feelings....Kids are only kids for a short while...and you leave lasting impressions on them.

Stop and be in the moment for just a little while....because before you know it your babies will have babies of their own one day and you missed out.



2 comments:

Caroline said...

People who leave should not have kids. It baffles me. I am with you.

The Herd said...

I get turned off when celebs or chefs I like share their spiritual beliefs or lack of them...I'm with you on the Lauren somethinorother...wonder what therapist helped her arrive at that thought. Giada---that's just so sad to hear what she thinks is just worth the traveling.

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