Monday, May 20, 2013

Is It Just Me?

When I go out and take just 3 of the 6's chaos....When I go run errands and take 6 of the 6 it's just pure mayhem!  It sometimes is good....I have extra hands to push buggies...but sometimes the small ones ONLY  want ME to push them and that doesn't work because there is only 1 of me.

Anywho....I'll have Cole strapped to my body....Reid in buggy BUT IF I am lucky I can find those cool double seater buggies and boom...Miss Lily can ride. 

A walking 4 yr old is not my idea of fun in a store when I've got things to do and get out!

There is usually screaming crying and begging (mainly me) while at the store.  I feel more stressed running a quick errand.  My goal is to get IN AN OUT w/o incident!

The other day I had just 3 of them....and I see a family walking and they had 4 kids.  2 were walking...1 was riding inside the buggy and one was riding in the kid part.  They were probably 4 and under.  AND WALKING LIKE SWEET ANGELS

You know the kind.....they look all shy and quiet.  Not just 1 of them but ALL of them.

I watched for a bit...I stalked might have followed for a bit. NOT ONE OF THEM ACTED UP.  They just looked at things and quietly followed their mommy.

I wanted to go up to her and ask...."how do you do it?"

And this isn't the first time I've seen something like this.....

Which makes me feel so inadequate as a  mommy

I mean what possibly can she do any different than I try to do?

I try to smile and be kind to my kids....I tell them the rules of the store BEFORE we go.  I explain to them what we are doing and why and what I expect of them in the store.  How we don't whine and fight or scream.  How other ppl are there and we need to use our good manners

As we drive to places I chant "What are we gonna be on?"  they respond "BEST BEHAVIOR"  

Maybe I'm doing something wrong.  

Next thing I know...the kids are fighting...screaming...begging....and I'm sweating just willing things to just jump in my buggy and be done with it.  It's always my luck that the check out lines are terribly long and yet we start the mess all over again

Target is my saving grace.....the double buggies rock....and the icee's save me....I can get about 40 mins out of a Target trip before meltdown begins.

Cole now is the problem.  When I wear him he swings backwards to try and grab everything.  Then he will lean forward to "try" to push the buggy too.  (not helpful)

If he is near a shelf he will try to grab anything on it.  

If I have a list...?  He grabs it with his hand and eats it..

I look like an  octopus fighting the enemy.  I'm sure it's comical, but I'm not the one laughing

So back to this momma....

How does she do it?

I want to be that mommy

I swear next time I see this ....I'm sucking up my pride and asking what she does to make her children look like angels.

Do you have angel?  Share your secret!


Jenn-Neal said...

I only have two children and I have the same experience. My almost two year old wants to walk, but that also means he's pulling everything off the shelves. So, I let him know that if he lets go of the buggy then he'll have to ride. Once he's in the buggy I strap him in as tight as I can because he can Houdini out of the straps quickly and then it becomes a dangerous situation. My five year old is continually asking for something. Seriously, like every five seconds. So, my neighbor suggested that I offer each kid "one thing" if they behave. I hate to resort to bribery, but if it saves my sanity I'll so it. What I'm doing right now is going to the store on the weekends when my husband is home so I don't have to take the kids with me. It's super crowded, but I'm so much more relaxed without the kids wearing me out! Good luck. Can't wait to see what other advice you get.

Heather said...

I have the same problem with mine when grocery shopping or anykind of store visit. I don't know how the Duggers do it for their 19 to behave better than my 4 Lol. I end up buying way more than I plan on to keep the peace and them happy but they still seem to want more and have meltdowns. I know one day I'll have shopping trips when they're older all alone so I try and remember it want be like this for long. I love your blog your honesty and that real families with kids can relate to you.

Kimberly Graesser said...

You know my kiddos, Peter is 4 (5 in a month), Sarah is 2.5 and Luke is 8 months. I wouldn't call them angels (at all!) but they usually behave themselves at the store (we go to Walmart b/c we're cheap!).

Peter pushes Luke in the stroller behind me with Sarah in the cart. We usually stop at McDonald's to get drinks on the way in (as much for me as them!) and it's nice to have the stroller since it gives us built-in cup holders. Luke prefers the stroller too because he can take a nap if he needs to and Peter likes having a job to do.

It's also Peter's responsibility to keep Luke happy (within reason). When we stop in an aisle, he'll make funny faces to Luke and play with him. They like their bonding brother time! I do sometimes have to remind Peter that the stroller is not a race car - but overall he does a good job, and the only person he seems to run into is me, Hah!

What works for me is just making sure that the kids know what is expected of them through a combination of positive and negative reinforcement.

I've taken both Peter and Sarah to the restroom to spank them while out once each - that was all it took for them to realize when Mama says "You do that again, you're getting a spanking" that she'll do it! That cuts down on the major things like hitting, screaming, being little terrors, etc.

The kids know that I stick to my shopping list, but if they ask for something specific (food wise) and they're not acting up that it's likely they can have a couple of things - if they ask NICELY. None of this "I want this!" or "Aww Mom! Come on!" Nope.

Now "Can we have these cupcakes Mama? They look so good! I'm being a good helper!" That...that I can't resist. I usually limit it to two or three things though (But I figure, we need snacks anyway). And they know if I say no (usually with a "That's too expensive"), that it's final say. I don't really consider it bribery so much as getting a bonus for a job well done - the same as you would at work.

I tell Peter often "No one wants to give a rude kid fun things." And that's true! Seems like a good life lesson to me - as long as it's not expected that they get everything they want all the time - which they don't!

If the kids want a toy or something like that they can buy it with their own money or save it for a special occasion (birthday, etc). Sometimes I'll cave and get a non-food treat for no reason, but that's usually because Peter will tell me "It's on clearance mama!" He knows me too well! ;)

Peter also knows that if he keeps up with me with the stroller that we can leave sooner. Since he hates to shop, this is a bonus!

When we get him it's the kid's job to bring the bags in - and I unpack and put away while they do that.

That's just what works for us at this stage of life.

Kimberly Graesser said...

Oh, and we always get the free cookie from the Walmart bakery on the way to the checkout line. If they've been rude they don't get the cookie. It only took one time of Sarah watching Peter get to eat a cookie and her not getting one after a whole shopping trip of whining for her to shape up! I rarely have to correct her now - she wants that stale, bland cookie so badly!

Stef said...

Ha! I am as baffled as you are. But then I also wonder what those mommies are like at home to scare those kids into submission.
My kids are loud. And crazy. And for some reason ALL stores bring that out of them.
I have decided to avoid them at all costs....stores, not my children...although....
If you learn that secret, let me know.

Dianna said...

I don't have any advice because I don't have an angel...and I only have one! We always tell Cooper he can get down and walk but no running and he will repeat the rule but before you know it he is running! We are working on it but he is a mess!

LeAnna said...

My kids are usually good in the store, but Q is starting to act up more. But he's doing it at home, too. It's very tiring. I think he's just figured out he can get away with more since baby B was born. Mama's too tired to act on every moment of disobedience. Sometimes I feel like all we do is instruct and do damage control right now!

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