Friday, July 19, 2013

Being A Mom Means......

Before I became a Mom nearly 17 yrs ago (August 27th, 1996 to be exact), I didn't realize how awesome I was going to be.

I didn't know that my spidey senses would multiply.  That I would be able to hear things I never heard before.   Like that of a child sneezing in the middle of the night or the dreaded 2am hurling sound.  Or when the room is super quiet, but yet upstairs in the far end of the house you hear a child playing with toilet paper.  You just know these things.

or 

I didn't know that my sense of smell would work like that of a dog.
Knowing when there is a child with a poopy diaper within 400 ft of you is a special skill you know?  

or

I didn't realize I would be blessed with the gift of being ninja like.
You know where you can walk into a child's room full of toys and step over and in between and around and through w/o stepping on  one.  This will come in handy when I am in a mine field one day....which leads me to...

or

How I can lay a child down and slowly exit a room without making a sound....which leads me to...

I didn't realize I would be able to hold my breath for so long.
You know when you go to lay a child down for a nap...they are out stone cold and if you breathe they will feel it or hear it....so you hold your breath and slowly back away....tip toeing over toys (ninja) ...turning every shade of blue....to finally exit the room and let a huge blast of air out of your lungs.

But

This is where I realized I CAN NOT HOLD MY BREATH FOR VERY LONG.  I mean seriously ...it's like after 10 seconds I think I'm gonna die...I start to panic....

or

I didn't realize I would be blessed with the gift of invisibility.
You know where you sneak out of a room to use the bathroom alone undetected.  
How? 
If you stay to the side of your children...always wear black (ninja again) and move really slowly...they can't see you

or

I didn't realize my eye sight would be like a sensor for lost things.  Give me an I Spy book any day and I will seek and find.  This comes in handy when searching for lost binky's or favorite dolls or even a tiny tiny hairclip for a Polly Pocket doll

or

I didn't realize I was a contortionist 
You know where you are co sleeping with 1-3 kids and everyone smashes against your body and you are in the most cramped position where a leg, arm, and head are all in different areas of the bed.  You are lucky you were able to move or let alone get any sleep.

It's like another side of you comes alive and you are this incredible superhero.  You are able to do things you never imagined you could do.  Just ask my phone...
she calls me Supermom



3 comments:

Jenn @ West Sac Honey said...

Best mom ever! Loved these ninja skills you've acquired by becoming a mom!

LeAnna said...

That phone knows her stuff! :)

Ashley Quarles said...

That phone is a genius!!!

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