Friday, August 2, 2013

I'm a Know It All...Not!



I was one of those...

The parent that didn't get the Co Sleeping parents.

I admit...I turned my noses up at you...I may have talked about you behind your back to my husband...

You know all self righteous like..."Did you hear that Mary co sleeps...The master bedroom is for adults..kids room for kids...I mean that child will never learn to sleep on it's own...it's just lazy parenting"

Ok I don't truly know what the conversation was...but that was pretty much the jest of it.

And yes I had 3 kids already....

I always felt that I could give my 2 cents in on things like this...because after all in our minds when we become a parent no matter what our child's age (even in the middle of labor with our first)  We are the expert.

Back when I had just 2 kids my friend Margaret (waves hello) had 2 kids also...ours were about the same age.  My kids were in bed by 7:45....I was downstairs by 8 enjoying my quiet evening...Poor Margaret was up until after 11 sometimes with her kids trying to get them into bed.  I just couldn't understand that.  I would tell her to get a schedule and keep it and force it....after a few weeks the kids would finally go to bed.  (I mean after all I gave birth I should know right?  Expert level here)  She would try and it wouldn't work.  I couldn't figure out what she was doing wrong.  (again that need to fix ppl b/c I have all the answers..I'm the expert)  Chokes....

First 3 kids slept through the night by 4 months.....and slept in their bed.  They took naps and didn't come out until I got them and at night were in bed by 8pm.  I could take them out to eat and they didn't run around ...We could go shopping and they rode in buggies or walked next to me.  You could take long car trips...talking 10 hrs or more....Life was easy
See I was the pro.  I got this.

THEN I HAD #4

She wasn't like the others...she refused naps.  (shock)  She refused buggies...eating out was never an option.  She hated the car.  Like HATED THE CAR.  She wasn't a schedule person.  The more I forced her the worse it was.  I refused to give an inch and so did she.  I didn't want to lose...I mean if I did this 3 times before I am an expert right?  I have it all down to a science right?  

WRONG

She shredded every book I ever had and rewrote new pages.

I felt like a failure.

Add to the not a schedule child or naps...SHE REFUSED TO GO TO BED AT NIGHT UNTIL AFTER 10 AND THEN WOULDN'T SLEEP IN HER BED

When she was 10 months I caved and put her in bed with us.

She slept...like hours ...nursed and slept again

I was a new woman

I remember thinking I needed to let go of my schedules and bedtime and cribs and let her do what she needed to be happy...because I sure wasn't

All those self righteous times came flooding back to me and I felt like a heel.  Some friend I was.

Here my baby might not nap at all during the day...or if she did it was when she wanted...and she might not sleep in her bed...but she's sleeping now.... life is happy again.

#5 comes along and I was a nervous wreck thinking how will we put 2 kids in bed with us....we lost all our bed to begin with ....

But he fell in the footsteps of #1-3

I got my mommy card back.

#6 comes along...and in the beginning I thought he would beat out #1-3 because he would get sleepy and want in his crib and put himself to sleep....He was in the newborn puppy stage where all looked good...This happy stage only lasted a month.

Then he turned into #4's rival.  It was like he needed to out beat her in the sleeping category.

It's ok ....Now I really was an expert.  I just let it go and let him set the pace.

BUT  YOU ARE NOT GETTING MY BED
(or will he)

After all ....#4 was still in our bed.  We are out of space...no more....

Out hubs goes...and in more kids

I held off putting him in our bed as long as I could

I ended up making a Princess Bed in #5's room (my good sleeper) and now #4 is thrilled. 
The past week they have been sharing and it was easier than I thought.

Now around 3-5am when #6 won't fall back to sleep on his own I plop him in my bed.  The first few nights he thought it was play land.  I mean huge soft bed...his favorite girl next to him..

GOOD TIMES

I was not amused ...I thought this is not what is supposed to happen...he's supposed to sleep

A week later?  The minute his head hits my bed...he curls his hand under my body and OFF TO DREAM LAND HE GOES

I might be in the worst sleeping position ever, but his sleep is worth it!  HE SLEEPS LIKE A PRINCE

I was staring at him this morning.  The picture of peace..... wondering why I was so against this...

This idea of co sleeping?

This idea of bliss and happiness and comfort?

This idea of giving your child a sense of peace and joy as he sleeps....#6 must smile a million times while he is next to me in bed.

This idea that they will NEVER want to leave your bed was insane....#4 went willingly.  She was ready for something new.  

They won't always sleep curled up by your side....#1 is proof of that...he's a senior this year...I can't imagine him jumping in bed with us (gross...besides he's a smelly boy who sleeps in a ball under a million blankets)

So I converted 5 years ago and I will never look back

I have to eat all my pages and pages and pages of words to all the parents I thought I could 'fix' with my expert ways

They knew better....now I do too

I wouldn't change my co sleeping days for anything!

2 comments:

Lisha @ DeLovely Life said...

This made me smile. :) Neither of my babies kept to a schedule or slept alone. And yes, I have had friends try to tell me that I'm doing something wrong and that I should be doing x, y and z. But I know what works for our family, and this works. Preach on, mama.

LeAnna said...

My #3 is nothing like his brother or sister. He's in bed with us after midnight every night, but I'm seriously going to have to cut his night feeds down to one or two instead of 4+ because it's really messing with my hormones, man.

But, I agree, you do what works. And I truly enjoy co sleeping, so...take that all them crazy haters. ;)

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